Friday, February 20

A Clockwork Apple



                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                          


Greetings iComrades,
 
Ever since the great revolution of 2015, our glorious iNation has been striving to implement the greatest and most individualistic technology possible. As we are the true home of Macxism, we must shine as an example of human progress for the entire world. Once the technological paradise is achieved here, our example shall spread to the rest of the planet until all the world is a Macxist utopia.

Recently, our daring scientists in the State Bureau for Progress have released the newest version of the Mac operating system, Yosemite. Because our dear leader cares so much about you, and wishes to treat you all as members of his iFamily, he wishes to explain why he has blessed you all with this startling innovation.

As part of our drive to make sure that everyone is an individual, and as creative as possible, we have decided that it is in the interest of everyone that all collaboration between individuals should be as limited as possible, particularly amongst anyone who refuses to upgrade to the newest operating systems. While the Yosemite operating system has many improvements to help each and every iCitizen contribute to the destiny of the iPeople, it was primarily for the reason of limiting collaboration that we introduced Yosemite.

The Maverick operating system, itself a technological marvel in its time, is in the past, and as Macxism always keeps marching forward, so must we leave Maverick behind. All reactionaries who attempt to edit movies on it AND Yosemite are barred from editing their iMovie projects in Maverick ever again, as we believe that this indicates a refusal on the part of those same reactionaries to progress and fully embrace the iEthics which must be unceasingly obeyed by every member of our iState, so that Macxism's bright future is secured. Anyone attempt to open an iMovie file in Maverick after using it in Yosemite will be blocked, and the iCitizen who attempted it will be referred to the Ministry for State iSecurity by the officers of the Ministry of iTruth.

Remember, iComrades, anyone who refuses to use the latest version of the Apple operating system for all of their iMovie needs does so out of a reactionary, traditionalist hatred of change and should rightly be suspected as an agent of the Microsoft Imperialist barbarians. If you see these same people using a computer with the Yosemite operating system, they may be spreading Microsoft lies to slander our great state. Do not let them do this, iComrades!

Also, to the students at the Steve Jobs Memorial University, we remind you to vigilant of any iCitizen using a Microsoft product. The iCitizens are not hip, we repeat, they ARE NOT hip, nor do they realize the incredible value that our company creates for our glorious state. As such, anyone who fails to report any usage of a Microsoft product will be treated as if they had used a Microsoft product itself.

iComrades, you have been warned.

Praise be to Jobs



6 comments:

  1. The McNation hereby notifies the Macxists that they will be brought up on charges for copyright infringement, as it is well known that the act of using a corporate prefix (Mc, i, etc.) is an established practice while performing a McJob. See you in court.

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    Replies
    1. The glorious Mac Nation does not recognize any such imperialist contrivances as "trials" Microsoft fascist.

      Go to Gulag. Do not pass go.

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    2. But well played nontheless. Since we have no shifts together, we are going to have to carry on this war fully via the blog.

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    3. I will meet you gloriously on the field. Only one will leave, but there will be honor enough for both.

      Delete